Rebel with zero cause…

My mind is a jumble. I am struggling so hard…I KNOW the right thing to do but I do not do it…and quite frankly, I rebel against it. I had two doctors appointments today, on the second one, it was a new doctor to me. He literally asked why I dont try to lose weight and I flippantly answered that I just dont. And then I drove to Dunkin Donuts and picked up two donuts and an iced coffee. Really??? Who do I think I am rebelling against? Ultimately its me.

I know I keep asking the same question, why? Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I get it together? Why can’t I just…fill in the blank.

In one of my readings there was this person talking about how when we say we will start over tomorrow, it basically gives us permission to keep eating compulsively for the rest of the day. Instead of just starting now. That sticks…

I was looking at pictures of myself and I hate what I see. There are no good angles. Why do I keep doing this?

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